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27 April
Another Sat"ahhhhhh"day morning...
Did you have any "Ahhhhhh" moments on Saturday? Dave Ewing has found the path to peace and enlightenment, as shown by this extract from his diary from an anonymous donor:
Saturday 26 th April 2008
Local weather reports suggest 15 degrees, sunny spells and light winds.
0800hrs
Just having a rather special dream, I had just completed an around the world single hander and came first. Twelve months without seeing a woman and just about to be kissed by some dodgy ?Wagg? with BIG curls when ?Uhhh? my three year old Max jumps on my ?you know Wotts? and shouts ?ARE WE GOING SAILING??
0815
Just got sensation back to my family jewels when I release that I'm race officer. "Oh no, Mr Harris, Mr Spedding and all looking at me to set a course, take times, give instruction and be a leader" .
0845
Awake again from fainting.
0900
"Three hours to go what's there to do?" This will be easy. Nothing to do but chill out play on the ?Wii? drink plenty of very strong coffee (bad night on the Stella) and just relax.
0930
Charlie shouts "Sorry dad, I forgot to tell you - we're playing football at 10am?.
WHAT?
1010
Still can't find his boots, Max is screaming for his Dummy, and me, well I'm still getting the feeling back.
1020
Ten minutes before kick off, we screech and skid onto the pitch and nearly take out the enter defence.
1130
After loosing 3-0 and receiving 3 points for killing a squirrel and being accosted by a large group of ?Tree huggers? we arrive home to start loading the car with all the ?paraphenalia? to spend the afternoon down at the Lake. It's OK, I just need to throw the Oppie on the roof and put all the sails and spars in the car. Get all the clothing, boots and towels. Make some sandwiches. Make sure we have all been the toilet. ?Perfick. ?
1215
It's OK, so we're late it can happen. "COME ON BOYS" I shout and they both come running out like ?Trumpten? soldiers, all clean, smiling and, -?BANG? the front door slams shut with all the charm of a Dungeon Door. ? NOOOOOOOOOOO? hear all the residents of Greasby as I scramble across the asphalt in some vain hope that I can turn back time.
That's when it suddenly goes all ?pear shaped?. Charlie has locked us out.
1245
After administering first aid to Charlie for head injuries. The other half turns up. All smiles and bags of shopping (what credit crunch?) And we can now get started.
1300
Aaaaaaah! Yes it's 16 degrees, the water is lovely and the wind is just right. There's lots of people all chilled and relaxed and the kids (well we just love them don't we?) are having the time of their lives.
We have plenty of races, Mr Harris and Mr Spedding think I might just get the hang of the ?OD? business, and life can not get any better.
Or can it?
This happens every Saturday in my house and probably in yours. But if I can get through all the stress and shouting and screaming just to get down the lake at noon, well so can you, so come on down next weekend and every weekend and let all those stressful Saturdays become Sat"ahhhhh"days!
Dave Ewing
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